Today was Palm Sunday. Honestly, I am always quite startled that it begins with Jesus’ procession into Jerusalem and ends with his burial. I remember the palm part and forget the burial part. Regardless, it always sets my mind to working on the “why” of it all.
I was born and raised Lutheran – Missouri Synod – and converted to the Catholic Church over 15 years ago. Honestly, I have never been hung up on the differences between Catholic and Protestant, I suspect we understand so little of the true nature of God and Christ that we most certainly have a number of things wrong.
However, I am certain of the foundation: “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”
That is, after all, the nature of faith. I have faith that God exists. I have faith that He sent His Son to die for my sins. I have faith that if I believe and accept this and live accordingly, that I will have an eternal life with Him.
I am also an engineer – raised in the scientific tradition. I question, probe, evaluate, poke, prod and simply wonder. Why?
If a being is God, why do this at all?
Why create a universe to begin with?
Why create human? What else did he create?
Why create Adam and Eve with free will? Since God could clearly see through all time, He was well aware of what was to come – why do anything at all?
Has he done this before? Are we simply one of many experiments through out existence?
What would lead the Supreme Being to sacrifice his Son for our salvation?
How do you say thank you?
Why does a Supreme Being need a Son?
Why save us at all? Why not simply start over?
And so my mind goes. I pray that I am the best me I can be. I know I am not. I have no idea how to thank Him for his gift. I know I am not worthy.
I ask for forgiveness anyway.